The Power of Surrender
BY : KATIE OHLIN
I often find that my frustrations come from my expectations.
I want something to go a certain way, and when it doesn’t, I can find myself getting angry or upset. I have these ideas in my head of how my day is going to go, how I will spend my time, how my children will act, etc. Slowly I realized that living this way was stealing my joy, blinding me of the blessings, and robbing me of the precious moments with loved ones. As I started to dig deeper into what the root of all of this was, I discovered it was my need for CONTROL. I never really saw myself as a control freak, or perfectionist, or any of those other terms used for “people” like that, but after an honest look in the mirror, I started calling it what it was. The need for control had built up in my life, and I was trying to grasp at whatever I could, since there were so many things outside of my control (really everything, but we will get to that). For me, it really started rearing its ugly head when the thought of becoming a mom became reality.
Control slips out of our hands the moment we think about motherhood; even before a positive pregnancy test. Many of us decide on a time when we will start “trying”, feeling like it’s the right timing for us. We think that our baby being born in the Spring would be best because Winter is too cold and Summer is too hot. Fall would be a good time to have a baby, but a Summer pregnancy would be too hot.
But we are faced with the reality that our “trying” is mostly out of our hands. We can’t actually control the timing as closely as we’d like to.
Then when our children are born, we are again faced with the daunting reality that here is this human that we can try all the things with, but the ultimate outcome is once again out of our control.
Oooffff…and when things don’t go our way, you know what can set in…anger, thoughts of betrayal, resentment, shame, guilt and so on.
Like many, I have struggled over the years and still struggle at times with wanting to maintain control over every area of my life : my household, the food we eat, meal planning, my kids’ behaviors, my kids’ responses, my health, my anger, my frustration, my stress, etc. I was trying so hard to do better as a wife, mom and friend, but I kept falling short and feeling like my efforts were wasted.
Well recently, I gained freedom! As I was reading in 1 Corinthians 7-9 and studying the commentary, it hit me like a ton of revelatory bricks. The commentary talked about how any Spiritual gift is bestowed on us from the Lord. It isn’t something we can control, manipulate, or create. And the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) involves the Believer’s own surrender to the CONTROL of the Holy Spirit. I must SURRENDER control in order to experience these fruits in my life. What I had been doing is trying to control my love toward others, my joy in motherhood, my patience and gentleness towards my kids, and my self-control in my responses. I was getting nowhere and finding my self frustrated at the end of the day. I was trying SO hard to do better, but I often times was still angry, frustrated, or discontent.
Reading this passage made me realize that in order to BE the wife, mom, friend, sister, etc. that I was designed to be, I must surrender to the work of the Holy Spirit in me instead of white knuckling control over all things. Sorry friend, but this isn’t going to be one of those posts that tells you to just tighten up your boots straps and do it! The reality is you can’t and you won’t, but if we surrender day by day and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our life, we will have breakthrough and healing and actually live our lives the way our hearts desire to.
This lifted a huge weight off of me! This freed me & has allowed me to walk in peace and joy knowing I am not in control. God is sovereign in me and through me, and all I have to do is surrender to Him!
