The Importance of Naming the Good Together

By: Anna Booth

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Gratitude is a weapon in a weary world. 

It’s hard work.

It’s holy work. 

It doesn’t ignore the pain or the heartache, but rather acknowledges the ways the darkness makes room for the light to shine a little brighter. 

There have been times in my life that the consistent practice of gratitude has felt like a lifeline. Putting pen to paper and naming the good has been like oxygen in my lungs. 

One of these times was just a couple weeks ago as I watched my 12 day old son struggle to breathe. He was admitted to the PICU for respiratory distress, and it felt like my air had been stolen too. 

Nine long days of wondering how bad it might get. Nine long days of hearing my son — who was just inside me a matter of days ago, safe from the world — experience pain that I couldn’t protect him from. Nine long days of feeling just how fragile life is, how easily it can be taken. 

I desperately kept a list in my mind…

His cry that means his lungs are still functioning. 

A nurse that looks me in the eye and tells me that she hears me.

My husband’s arms that feel like home in a cold hospital room. 

A friend’s text at 2am saying she’s praying for deep breaths for all of us. 

Meals dropped off — nourishment for our bodies and our hearts. We are being carried through.

The sound of the oxygen that is allowing him to rest a little easier.

A breast pump so I can still provide milk while he’s unable to nurse.

Another hour gone by that he didn’t get any worse.

Lukewarm hospital coffee that feels oddly comforting at 11pm. Caffeine for another long night ahead. 

His tiny body against mine, his chest rising and falling, letting me know he’s still with me.

& so many more.

Too tired to actually pick up a pen, but the list in my mind is my battle cry. There is good here. In this valley, when the darkness of the night feels like it might swallow me up, there is grace. Grace in the form of lukewarm coffee, hands to hold, texts read through bleary eyes, a doctor’s reassuring words, the white noise machine that helps disguise the incessant beeping of the life giving machines, my daughter’s arms around my neck telling me she’s proud of me, tears in a bathroom stall that feel like surrender. 

I name the good, and the weight slowly lifts, even if for a moment. 

& even more important, even more life giving? Naming it together. Because sometimes we forget. We need the gentle voice next to us that says “remember when?…”

So in this month of Thanksgiving, I encourage you to name the good. Look for the grace. Even here in the moments that feel like they’ve stolen your literal air, there is beauty. Not in spite of the pain, but because of it. Without darkness there would be no light. 

& do it together. Not just this month, but in the days and weeks and years to come. Send a text to a friend with your list of gratitudes and ask for theirs. Keep a written list in your pocket, your purse, or next to your sink. Have friends add to it. Remind and remember. Raise your battle cry of gratitude even if your voice shakes. 

I’m with you, friend. We’ll lift weary hands and shaky voices together until our hearts believe it.