Why do Stories Matter?
by: Caroline Schneider
Stories. We all have them. We all carry them. We all live them. But what makes a story? How do our individual stories play a part in an even bigger story? Do they even matter? Does your story matter? The short answer is yes. I believe every part of every story matters and not just matters but has deep, intentional purpose.
My full time job is a post renal transplant coordinator. I talk to patients all day long whose lives have changed simply by receiving a courageous gift from someone else. I sat with a patient the other day listening to part of his story. His son died when he was just a teenager. As he spoke those words, his wife sat next to him with tears filling her eyes. 20 years later and she still feels the weight of their story shifting. I watched her and I couldn’t help but think about how our stories change us. They shape us. They carry us. They are never lost. We feel them. The victories, the losses, the pain, the joy. Our stories make us who we are. They cause us to pause or keep going, to grieve or to celebrate. They matter.
There was a time in my life when I felt my story didn’t matter. I thought that all the big and small things I had walked through were just experiences no one would understand or relate to. For a lot of my life, I have lived in this space. Scared to be fully myself, scared to share parts of myself with others in fear that I would be misunderstood or rejected. I have a strong feeling we’ve all been there or are currently feeling this. We keep to ourselves because we think it protects us. But what if I told you the very act of hiding parts of ourselves is the very thing that is making us feel more alone? What if that protective mechanism is actually keeping you from experiencing the power of deep, intentional community and the deep breath you are eagerly searching for?
A few years back, I shared a part of my story I had been carrying alone for a couple of years with a few close friends. The shame that came with this secret was heavy and weighed me down. I had spiraled into a depression and felt very alone. I started feeling this strong urge to bring it to the light and it terrified me. It was as if deep down I knew the only way to feel free of this was to talk about it. One day while sitting with a safe friend I shared this struggle. I’ll never forget the response I got from her– “can I share something with you I’ve never told anyone?” We went on to have a very real, vulnerable conversation about these struggles. As the days went on, I continued to feel a nudge to open up to many different friends about this part of me. I continued to hear, “I’ve struggled with that too and I’ve never told anyone.” This season of my life taught me that we were never meant to carry our stories alone. We were never meant to hide. And not only that, but I learned we actually need each other. We need each other’s stories. We need to connect. We need to hear we aren’t alone. It’s in these vulnerable places where I actually found freedom from the thing I thought I was always meant to hide. How ironic, right? It was in these moments that I started believing I matter and my story matters.
A couple months ago, I took a branding course that really challenged me to look within myself and ask hard questions about who I am as a person and what I have to offer the world. This course really pushed me to better understand myself. Through lots of reflection and exercises required by the course, I came to understand how important stories are to me. I learned that my heart beats for women to find safe spaces to share their stories and experience the freedom and connection with others that I have. I coined this phrase that came to sum up my whole brand I was working on— honor your story. For me this looks like sharing my story with others and believing that every part of it not only matters but has purpose. It has challenged me to embrace the good and the hard knowing that whatever it is, it is shaping me for something greater that someone else may need. As a part of Freed & Flourishing Co., my role is to help you learn how to honor your story. I don’t feel right inviting you into this without honoring my own story and going first. So here it goes.
My story has taken me down many paths. Paths including anxiety and depression, loneliness, unworthiness and feeling misunderstood, body shame, sexual struggles, a rocky engagement with a called off wedding, birth trauma, breastfeeding hardships, a child with medical needs, feeling stuck in my career, hard family relationships, disappointment, friendship hurt, and differences in marriage. Paths also including learning how to be confident in who I am and freely living from that space, hope through counseling and therapy, a redemptive wedding & marriage, deep friendships, emotional safety and healthy boundaries, thriving family relationships, joy in motherhood, and contentment in being a full-time working mama. This is only a glimpse, but all parts of me you can expect to hear and see more of.
We feel really passionate about stories here at F&F Co. because we believe sharing stories is powerful. They are purposeful not only in our own personal growth but in connecting with others to help all of us feel a little less alone in a chaotic world. We will be sharing many parts of ours along the way while also creating space for others to share theirs. We believe that all stories are important. No matter who you are or where you come from, we want you to know your story has a space here.
On behalf of the whole Freed & Flourishing Co. team, we are so glad you are here! We hope you find this a safe and inviting space for you to connect with other women, heal, and feel empowered to move from weariness to wholeness. Our team is right here doing this alongside you. We are each leaning more into who we are, digging into the deeper parts of ourselves, asking the hard questions, and having honest, vulnerable chats along the way. That’s what F&F Co. is all about. Linking arms and together taking the next step towards a life of freedom. We have lots of dreams and visions of what this can be and to say we are excited is an understatement. We are eager and expectant! We can’t wait to connect with you more and hear your story! It truly does matter.
